Ever since I was young, I have always wanted to work at the hospital - to care for people. I will never forget what my Dad told me when we were talking about what to take up in college when I was young, “The best job you can get is where you can help people.”

Fast forward to now. What is making me depressed a bit these days is my seemingly bleak plans for nursing. I still cant get a job because good maids these days are considered endangered species. Plus, even if I get to work for a hospital, economically speaking, my pay really wont be worth the time I will be away from the kids - and let’s face it, I need and I want to be the one taking care of my kids.

Times likes these I often wonder why did I ever choose a course that limits me to one setting - why didnt I take up business or the arts or even IT. All the sideline jobs I have now are so far from nursing. I do design layouts and albums for clients, I was technical support for a registrar company when I was still working, I help conceptualize themes for events. If I had loved computers back then, I would have been practicing in IT and doing NY IT Consulting. IT is one of the hottests jobs in the industry today - letting you work even from home. iCorp’s business in IT outsourcing, for example, gives people the power and flexibility to manage their business in the aspect of technology without difficulty.

Sometimes it is depressing that it is all about the benjamins these days, especially when you have a family already.

BUT I still love to work for the people, to be able to talk and interact with them everyday, help alleviate discomfort. I also want the thrill of analyzing human mechanism - it gives me such a high to be able to understand and even come up with a solution how to treat one.

*sigh*.
Someday. I just have to keep believing in that someday.

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1. Practice more patience.

Patience is a virtue. I must pray that God will give me the virtue of patience. Especially since I have two makulit kids.

2. Drink water like a fish.

3. Keep up with purging our things.

4. Take pictures. I havent taken as much as I want to.

5. Pray for discernment.

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Yep, that will be me all week. Im working on something I cant tell right now.
Basta you will know when it’s done and Im there
Have a great week!

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My sisters have shirts that say:

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

Oh crap! You’re going to try and cheer me up, aren’t you?

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

And I really really want to have custom t-shirts made for me that say:

“Chocolate Today. Gone Tomorrow.”

“Coffee? It’s not in my blood. It’s my blood.”

“Coke ZERO. ZERO Coke.”

(They are all original quotes by me, by the way :P)

My brother does silk-printing (if he ever gets out lazy mode) and my sister is really good with designing so Im sure I can have one made. But Id like to get a custom T-shirt made for my family too, some witty saying claiming our name and our position in the family. Something like: “Im the Dad. Head of the Family.” “Im the Mom. The REAL Head of the Family.” SonicShack.com seems to the best choice to have our custom shirts made. Their shirts are 100% cotton, their site very user-friendly. I just chose the type of shirt I want, order the size and color and then it allows me to design what I want or upload what I have already designed. Sounds so easy right?

Im so doing this for Christmas season this year!

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I never thought Id get so tired from taking a break during the weekend.

And to borrow a line, “I need a vacation after taking a break.”

Hehehe.

Plus hormones are raging today. Id rather not write something that was just all induced by rampaging hormones.

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Yesterday made me question if ever I did the right thing with myself.

And then I remember my kids’ improvements and surprising growth under MY care.

Forget about myself for now. And just pray the worries away.

WE are doing the right thing.

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One thing I overheard today:
“Sino kamukha mo? Si Lola!”

My mom (Lola Mayette) gets such a kick whenever people tell her Martha looks like her. This is always after people gush how pwetty her apo is.

One of our family friends from the US upon arriving here for the first time cant stop telling me that I have a pretty daughter.

Ang ganda ganda ng anak mo.
She should model at SM! (cheap no? LOL)
Ang beautiful.
Mayette na Mayette, even the hair!

So after I say, “Wow, thank you po!“

Babawi sya,

Ang ganda talaga ni Martha.
Kumukhang kamukha ni Mayette.
And you…you look exactly like your Dad!

So parang sinabi nyang di ako pwetty no?

Comments like that no longer offend me. Kasi Im obese like my Dad so people really tell me I look like him (we have the same eyes din kasi). His sister is a splitting image of me (lalo na ngaun).

Pero ako nakakainis, when I was about a 100lbs lighter, people will tell my Mom,
“Mayette! Ang gaganda ng mga anak mo, kamukhang kamukha mo!” (I have to say though that at least I got my skin from my Mom - I have very low maintenance, NICE skin which doesnt need the best acne treatment at all)

Dati ako si Mayette.
Ngayun ako na si Kuya Bodgie.
Hehehe!

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I’m a bit disheartened today as I found about something that might affect us in a way. And before you think about anything else — it is really something work-related

The Big Man is trying to tell me something but poor me, not used to listening anymore, cannot (for the life of me), figure it out.

July na pala next week.
Kaya pala.

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I think I am suffering from mild depression these days (I dont want to say it’s hormones because then Im always ovulating and PMS-ing, hehehe).

See, I really havent really taken a break since we moved. Add to that the drastic changes I made in my life - it is a step towards the better, I know. But knowing myself, where I always plunge ahead ALL the time, I think I forgot to breathe. Now Im gasping for air.

Im so bored. Bored in the sense that I want to do something meaningful for myself. I am always busy. In fact I think I will never be able to talk to you for 5 minutes without interruption or me losing my thought mid-sentence.

I know, I know. Such is the irony of staying at home and taking care of the kids.
(We have maids, but the kids dont like them and I cant even take a bath nor poo without Martha banging on the bathroom door, it’s driving me crazy!)

So maybe the lack of energy and desire is making me quite lethargic, always hungry and sleepy - yep, mildly depressed, I think.

And no, not pregnant!!!!!

And as Im done writing this, I think I feel slightly better already.
Thanks for listening(reading).

I think I just need a break. I really want to go out of town (well, we are technically out of town! LOL), but really unwind - change of scenery. I can save up for a Tagaytay trip or a Hilton Head rental.

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**
(For those of you who don’t know what SOOC means, it means straight out of the camera.)

I havent been posting a picture of me for the longest time (I think since I became a SAHM) - so there you go. I gained weight this week (well, I think the past weeks, LOL) — too much sugar, too much salt, barely any water (could be the PMS talking too - the search for the best diet pill from diet pills review can now be stopped!). My hair can be tied now - so I need to get a haircut (I just want to get it done in Manila kasi), too many zits on my chin and the other side of my hair has too many white strands already. I desperately seek some pamper-me-time, but I know it will take a looong time before I can leave my kids alone - ever since I stopped working, I think I need them more than they need me. It is a bit vague but if you are in the same boat, Im sure you would be nodding your head in agreement with what I just wrote.

Hmm…people send me e-mails and ask me what do I these days. I always draw a blank - what do I do really? It seems that everyday just passes by with me mentally reviewing what happened and all I can come up are mundane stuff - blog, work a little, plan a little, once the kids wake up, I lose me time and just steal minutes which really doesnt accomplish anything.

It’s a far cry when I was still working when I can list all the things I have done or accomplished.

But what I accomplish these days are not really the small stuff you can list.
What I accomplish these days are investments on my kids - and whatever I sacrifice, give, teach them - they are all going to reflect someday.

My kids are blooming and making huge progress.
That’s something immeasurable for me.
So screw looking fugly for now. I can always steal time for myself when everything settles down. Soon.

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Thanks Alpha and Vannie.

* 1.Determine your birthday month and get a word that rhymes with it or you can affix to it. Caps lock your birth month (ex: MAYday! JUNE dune, APRILicious, JULYvely, AUGUST pocus, parched MARCH…). Be unique.
* 2.Your birth month plus the word affixed or rhymed shall become the tag’s title in your case.
* 3.Get your birthday and add the digits involved. Example, if your birthday falls on the 25th of July, add 2 and 5 you get 7.
* 4.Whatever is the sum, write a list of the MATERIAL gifts you wish to receive, the number of which shall correspond to the sum of your birthday. For example, applying the case above (in rule number 3), you will write seven (7) things you wish to receive.
* 5.After your wish list, put your name and birthday in the Bloggers’ Birthday Directory, with a link to your blog/s. Note: when you add your birthday, please place it in a way that the dates appear chronological (January, February… 1, 2, 3)
* 6.Pass this tag meme by tagging as many people as you want.

Name: Aggie
Birthday: February 16
Calculation: 7

My Wishlist:
1. Portable music player (I dont care if it’s mp3 players or ipods, I just want to be able to listen to music QUIETLY while I dance during the mornings).
2. Gadget talk: a 500GB EHD, a spiffy printer
3. All expense paid travel (within the Philippines).
4. A video cam.
5. New lens for the Rebel.
6. A complete set for everything in the kitchen.
7. CASH. CASH. CASH for the house

Bloggers’ Birthday Directory:
February 16 - Aggie |
February 23 - Jammy | March 7 - Mari | May 3 - Vannie | May 8 - joanjoyce | May 27 – Zang Caesar | June 1 - Jody | September 30 - Mckhoii | December 18 - JoshuaOngYS | December 19 - Alpha | YOUR BIRTHDAY HERE

Have you done this Amore, Nice and Toni?

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Would you believe me if I told you that I talked to God yesterday?
Love. So.Much.Love.
So much that I almost doubled up in pain, and in shame, of not even being able to give back even a tenth of what is given to me.

…Para maramdaman mo ang kauhawaan ko ng pagmamahal.

—–
We are off to a much needed R&R to Tagaytay in a couple of days. It is not as good as the Outer Banks rentals Ive been reading about - but we get to stay in a nice resthouse, restaurants are near, there is a pool - we are going to be all good.

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(Im not exactly bored - but - hey - I can blog now!)

Thanks Alpha!

1. Would you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your husband/wife? Are you crazy? I dont even forgive when they dare FLIRT!

2. Where were you last week? Home, The Shrine, The Mall, Manila.

3. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yes.

4. Do you like Big Macs? Yes.

5. Are you single? Married.
Read more… »

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Litzie and Yen tagged me, thanks

RULES:
1. Add your blog/s to the list. Feel free to add all your other blogs. It’s okay if you only post this questions in one blog as long as you answer them.
2. Get back to ME{refers to YEN} and I’ll add your blogs to the master’s list here! Yup, another linking thingy but this one has 15 questions and you get to enjoy answering them too!
3. Tag as many friends online you know. But you don’t need to be tag in order to join.

QUESTIONS:

1. When you buy a greeting card, are the words or the picture more important to you?
+ Words. I actually LOVE letters. Even if they come in the form of e-mail.

2. What’s your favorite kind of cake?
+ Argh, I will never be able to choose only one - Chocolate Caramel. Blueberry Cheesecake. Strawberry Cheesecake. Coffee Crunch.

3. Do you ever make gifts for people, if so what, or do you buy them?
+ When I was little, I’d make handcrafted cards for my parents’ birthdays, the holidays and their wedding anniversaries. My dad still keeps them I even signed my name as “Your daughter, PiggyGie”

4. What’s your favorite holiday?
+ Christmas!

5. Are you going on holiday this year? If so, where?
+ Im sure we will be staying home It’s going to be a new one hopefully because we might be spending New Year’s at home, entertaining Edil’s side of the family!
Read more… »

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Thanks Issa!

This is me-today.
1. Woke up too early. Slept too late.
2. Something has been bothering me as of late, but I cant really decide if it’s my guts speaking.
3. Looking forward to tonight.
4. Eagerly waiting for Paypal money to come in. We need groceries.
5. Looking forward to around 4 hours of me time as the princess just slept at 5AM. Gaaaah.
6. Badly needs a haircut and a boost of hair color - my white hairs are standing out.

Tell me how are you today!

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