Most of you know that I am a nurse. In fact, I have two degrees, and am licensed on both. But the truth is, I have never practiced my professions – and that is not for lack of “will”, but due to life’s circumstances. When I quit working six months ago, I honestly thought I can go back to “the plan” easily – study for my NCLEX, take my exam and pass with flying colors. But it was harder than I thought – I didn’t have any maids to help me with the kids, I still need to drive my passion through blogging to earn some money to help with the house and I really lost my focus. And I have to be honest: I loved taking care of the kids. Sure, it was a thankless job but I would not have it any either way – the kids experience my love and care, and that’s it.

Now, the plan that got pushed to the backburner needs some attention. It’s time to prep her for baking again. With Edil transferring to our area effective January next year, I can finally have time to focus on it. It would require a lot of sacrifice on my end, but I need to do this – this is not for me, but for my family. I know I can do this.

So I have been looking at various sites online about nursing jobs. Travel Nursing Jobs seem to be the "it" department from the nursing specialties. Traveling nurses are expected to have the highest compensation and benefits and they can apply at the travel nursing agency at 50StatesStaffing.com. They are a company that boasts of the best Free Private Housing, Free Health, Dental and Life Insurance; Salaries and Bonuses, State Licensure Reimbursements, Travel Allowances, 401 K plan with corporate matching, and unlimited Free CEUs for their employees.

That job sounds very exciting. While I do need some stability with being grounded to a certain state because of my family, maybe I can try this when I go there first. Maybe. We will see.

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Matthew has been such a good son and a responsible big brother lately. Truth be told, my kids are such angels these days I automatically feel guilty when I lose my temper with them when they are rough-housing each other.

I credit it all to the holiday season and with the clever idea of telling Matthew that Santa has videos installed in every house.

Matthew cleans the house, makes the bed, sets the table, clears it up and the few times I actually really need to “work” (Like there is a $20 task I need to finish in 2 hours), he gladly entertains Martha.

And Martha is like Boo (of Monsters, Inc.) when it comes to her Kuya. She only laughs when Matthew gets hurt. Like Mike Waschowski, you know. That kind of slapstick humor.

And Matthew is so preoccupied with Santa and his Field Trip lately.

He is worried that Santa wont find his new house, since we moved. He made it clear to his letter that his new house is *here*.

And one of those ordinary days I put up their Christmas stockings (which are the only signs of Christmas in our house), Matthew got all kulit and said,

“Mommy wala pa tyong Christmas tree! Paano malalaman ni Santa san ilalagay ung gifts! Wala ka pang cookies and milk! OK ba ke Santa ung Cowhead? International ba dapat ung milk?”

And his Dad, being coy, once said,

“Kuya, baka New Year na dumating ung Christmas gift ni Santa baka kasi mawala ung gift mo nasa probinsya kasi tyo”

(He was just biding his time – meaning, kung ano makuha namin na aguinaldo un ang pangbili ng panregalo mula ke Santa, hahaha! Buti na lang jackpot and hiningi ni Kuya, mga mura! Yakang yaka!)

So when his Dad left, one of those ordinary times we were watching Spongebob, he asks,

”Mommy ano ba pinakamalapit sa North Pole?”

So I try to answer, Europe, Russia, US, China..he butts in.

“Naku! Ang daming bata sa China! Mauuna ba Filipinas (yes, he says it like that) sa China?”

I answer yes.

”Hay, baka nga ma-late si Santa Mommy! Billions ang bata sa China!! Nabasa ko un sa almanac ko!”

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Gosh, he is so KULIT!

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Martha is such a darling these days. I got the shock of my life when one day she asked for biscuit and I didn’t have to ask, “What will you say”. She immediately said, “Pwease Mommy.” And when I gave her the biscuit, she said, “Thank you Mommy.” Very clearly. In a sing-song voice. Otherwise, she would run off, look back and say, “Thank Mommy ha.” Yes, without the “s”. At least it’s still a thank you.

One night, on a very RARE and momentous occassion that she let her big brother watch TV, she was coloring her book when she said, “Ay lab yu Wuya.” I had to look twice! She really said that! She said that twice ha. She said it again, “Ay lab yu.” That was the best moment for the day – and yes it happened on a Friday, December 12 at around 11:50PM.

She loves all her new clothes. She would often see it from her closet, yank it out and say, “WOW Mommy bago o!” Even if she has seen it, well, maybe more than a dozen time since.

She is Dora-fied. One time, when we were walking to the Shrine, I was taking my time, enjoying the breeze (hahaha), when Martha, slightly ahead of me, says, “Mommy, vamanos! Let’s go!” with a wave of her hand. I just about died laughing.

It doesn’t end there. Everytime she sees a closed door, a closed TV (turned off) and her sippy cup closed, she would say: “Abre!” (Spanish word for OPEN).

She also can count one-twelve in Spanish, with correct pronunciation of “sa-is” (aka. “says!”)

When I tell her, I’ll go work first when we watch movies, she grips my hands, whispers to my ear and says, “Mommy *insert mumbled words here* Swiper coming! Wiper no wiping! Wiper no wiping!” Complete with hand gestures. This just means I’m not allowed to “Work”, just so you know.

And lastly, when we were about to sleep, she gave me my pillow and I say “Thank You Bei” She answers back, “Kedada”.

I’m now practicing her speech. This girl is really bulol even I who is with her all the time have a hard time understanding some of what she says. Sometimes I feel like we are doing charades with her repeating everything complete with action. 10% of the time I cant guess and she heaves a heavy sigh and says, “Stop!”

And lastly, she once told me when she was reciting her name…

“Martha…Bleth…Viso.”
”Mommy, ayaw Bleth, angit un. Yuck. Ewwwww!”

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I feel like I’m becoming one. Scratch that. Actually, I know I have become one. So I’m trying to take care of myself and become vain for once. I now have gone back to my skin care regimen since the cold winds at Tagaytay has made my skin awfully dry. I also ordered BE make-up from Peachy – and I promise to put it to good use. If there is only a Beauty School here like the ones from the US, who knows I might have enrolled in one as well. My aunt wants to become a professional make-up artist and she is now on the look-out for one. She can just search through FindaBeautySchool.com and I’m sure she will find a school that would be best for her. They have the most complete, convenient beauty school directory on the Web because they have included every accredited beauty school in the United States, searchable by state or zip code. They have even provided links to their Web sites so you can check them out for yourself.

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It’s the 15th! We are going to be starting the Simbang Gabi tonight, the Blessed Mary is going to visit our house for a week (Fatima Devotion/Block Rosary) and Matthew wraps us school with a Field Trip on the 18th! It’s going to be one busy week as I try, for the last time, to have our house in order in time for the Holidays. I have failed to give my kids a nice Christmas countdown but I’m going to make up for it with our 9 Days of Christmas

We have been eating like crazy the past few days – all junk foods given by relatives. I’d need diet pills with the rate I’m going. I better start going on detox soon.

So here is our plan of family activities this week:
Monday: Matthew’s last day of exams, Mama Mary goes to our house, Simbang Gabi at 8PM.

Tuesday: No classes for Matthew. Go to Waltermart to buy his gift for his Monita, do grocery shopping for the field trip. Simbang Gabi at 8PM

Wednesday: Matthew’s Christmas Party. Simbang Gabi at 8PM.

Thursday: Matthew’s Field Trip. Simbang Gabi at 8PM

Friday: Edil comes home. Simbang Gabi at 8PM

Saturday: Family time, I hope. Simbang Gabi at 8PM

Sunday: Matthew’s 8th Birthday! Simbang Gabi at 8PM

This actually means I’ll be spending less time online. Enjoy the holidays.

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Hmm. This is going to be a tough subject. I heard news that an online friend has been subject to the same treatment every blogger goes through when they become increasingly popular: unjust criticism from people she doesn’t know and more importantly, don’t even really know her and shameless copying of her personal entries.

Blogging can be a really touchy subject. It creates such a huge peekhole through a person’s personal life, in a way, that sometimes you create a notion that you KNOW the person already. It also makes you feel close to the person and against your own will, that person can influence your opinions as well.

Which leads us to a more personal subject. Hence this entry.

How personal should blogging be?

I have always been real. More real, in fact, that once you get to read the whole of my blog, you get to see a sense of myself, and my life. Im proud to admit that the few who dared to really stalk me and read my entries each day have ended up becoming such real-life great friends of mine. But is it all of me? Is THIS blog all of me?

It’s only the tip of an iceberg. And I’m such a HUGE iceberg, pun intended. It is such a pity that people can judge others just by what they read. Which also draws us into another complicated thin line – how much responsibility you have as blogger to your readers. But I’ll leave it at that because it’s such a complicated matter.

Where am I going at?

I have been feeling this way for a long time. The thought and worry that my life is an open book that unwanted people can come and read and make assumptions. I know people who know me in real life read my blog. And while it doesnt seem to bother me at the least ( remember I have always said I’m real here ), it does make me feel conscious. And responsible.

It all the more gets complicated with blogging becoming work for me and money is involved. And then my kids are involved because I get paranoid people can claim them as their own. Shit like that happens. It can happen to anyone, even if you think nobody is reading.

So what’s the point?
Inasmuch as I’d like to keep everything real, keeping portions to myself is essential for me to be able to not get swallowed into the whole crazy world of blogging. Crazy as it may sound, yes, I got caught up with this money making scheme.

It’s too bad I cannot keep my personal life away from writing “professionally”. It’s part of who I am. I dont really care if you don’t like what I write – it’s just me being me.

Blogging has started, for me, as form of release. Back in Blurty and LJ, my journals were friends only and if you think my entries here are so open, youd get the shock of your life when you read what’s on them. Why do I open up so easily? Maybe because I have been such a private person all my life. Maybe I have been trying to live up to what people have assumed of me for so long that letting loose to a group of people who virtually just know me was fulfilling.

It also has given me such a sense of freedom. And that freedom needs curtailing.
Ill see you tomorrow.

**This was inspired by Em.

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I’d like to think I work from home, even if I am technically not employed by an employer. Call me a freelancer. Ever since I stayed at home I have been aching and wanting my own office space. I don’t really want a room since I need to still keep an eye on my daughter when she watches TV or plays. I just need my own space. A pace where I can really work seriously and not be mobile with my laptop. So I have made up my mind and really will invest on office furniture. Office Furniture are really nice at PrimeOfficeFurniture.com. I really want an L-shaped desk similar to what you see in the picture because that would be perfect for a vacant space in our house. That one is the Executive Desk with Left Lateral Cabinet (Walnut Wood Veneer). It looks so nice, don’t you think? Fully-functional too.

Prime Office Furniture sells only the best commercial grade quality executive office furniture, since 2004. Their warehouse facilities and headquarters office are located in the City of Industry, CA. They are known for offering excellent customer service before, during, after each sale to stand by their 100% satisfaction guarantee. They are so sure of their service they even have a money back guarantee!

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This post is for the husband. He needs to understand our need for cable TV now. We need a safety equipment that will prevent us from watching TV shows that drain our brains of electrodes when there is really nothing else to watch.

While I watching 24Oras (Martha was sleeping and it was the first time in 5 months I was able to watch the news seriously!), Matthew while reading Archie looked up and told me,

“Mommy bakit sa Banana Split ung lalaki sabi magpapahinga sila ng girl tapos dinala nya sa hotel, sinampal sya nung babae?”

I didnt get the story he had to repeat it twice. Apparently, the couple was on a date and they went to the movies afterwards the guy took the girl to a hotel (motel).

So I told Matthew, “Nainis lang ung girl kasi nagsinungaling ung guy. Sabi movies tapos rest tapos pumunta sa hotel”

Matthew’s hirit: “Ang gastos Mommy no. Para naman nakakapagod manuod ng sine!”
Yun na

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