Career or Family
Posted on Apr 11, 2008 under Real-Life Lessons |I need to share this (for myself to remember as well):
Got this from N@W
Career or Family
by: JB Jimenez - Ayala Land
Ano kayang halaga ng tagumpay sa career if it has been achieved at the expense of the family. What profit does a man have kung mawawala naman ang kanyang pamilya? OO nga, meron siyang salapi na milyon ang halaga, magandang mansyon, travels around the world, and cavorts with an array of girls, women, and ladies, pero naman ang kapalit kung ikaw naman ay being hated by your daughters and is the mortal enemy of your sons. Can success in career really make up for failure at home? Which then is more important, wealth or family. A great number of us would readily say family. Pero totoo kaya na ang ating sinasabi ay ating ginagawa. But do we walk our talk ika nga? Are we willing to translate our mindsets into concrete actions? Day by day, we are bombarded by 52 million dollar questions, Sino ba ang mahalaga ang mga anak ko o ang trabaho ko.
To my fellow employees, I don’t know how you react out there or would you answer my questions. In my case, as an accountant who always spend overtime in the office to be able to submit deadline reports come month-end or cut-off period, I have made unforgivable mistakes. If I have to live my life again, I would need to overhaul my priorities, to rechannel the efforts that I Have been exerting with passions and commitment . I thought all along na ang Lahat ng ginagawa kong pagpapahirap at pagtratrabaho to the max to get a promotion, I am doing it all for the family. But I was wrong . Today I know better. When my wife or daughter
is on the phone I make sure that I attend to them first, never mind if there are urgent things to attend or papers to submit to my superior, after all they can wait for 10! minutes….. but if I deny the 10 minutes that is so important to them, it would have a lasting effect than to my Boss who might be replaced in a couple of years.
My family is my top priority , period. It is not a choice between my family and my career. MY FAMILY IS THE REASON WHY I NEED A CAREER. My career will come and go, employers can come and go but one’s family Will remain even beyond the grave . They even take care of our graves. Noon kahit mayroon affairs sa school ang aking mga anak, I’d tend to preponderate toward the fficial duty and delegate the affairs of my kids to my wife. I used to operate on the paradigm that I should focus on the duty first before pleasure . Now I know that MY first duty is toward my loved ones. I should put my time where my heart belongs.
Today if I will to do it all over again, I’d reverse my priorities . My son will only graduate once in elementary and only once in high school, I will make sure I will be there, I will file my vacation leave and if my Boss rejected it because I need to attend to a company function where I am required to attend, I would still go to my kids graduation no matter what the consequences are. This
time I am willing to become an average corporate officer, a so-so business executive but a great father. I’m willing to be reprimanded by my Boss for a late report but not hated by a daughter for not remembering her birthday every year…..na ilalabas ko siya the whole day and cherish the moments every minute dahil alam ko hindi ko na maibabalik ito kapag lumaki na siya at kung gawin ko man later, baka huli na. There are more important matters compared to corporate business meetings, Family peace and love- these are the ones that matter most.
BUT I SPEAK ONLY FOR MYSELF. I DO NOT IMPOSE VALUES ON YOU GUYS OUT THERE.
If you think possessions are more important than family, go ahead. Spend 20 hours in the office, bring home your corporate work. Neglect your wife.. don’t spend quality time with your kids. Don’t attend important family gatherings. Find work that you are away for a week and only meet your family every week-ends, oh what a waste. Delegate raising the children to your spouse. Leave
the young kids to the nanny. Let the driver brings your kids to school. Ask someone to represent in your son college graduation. If you find something wrong at home, don’t mind it, anyway your concentration is in your job. You have your career remember? Don’t greet your father and mother on their anniversary. Spend all your time in the company. Baka mawala ang tiwala ng Boss mo sa iyo sayang ang pinagpaguran mo ng matagal. If you have aging parents, don’t visit them. enjoy your career in isolation. Drink, dance, be merry, But in the end, you lose all the love ones who love you more, after neglecting! them. No wife, no kids, no family. you are alone and pretending to be happy. don’t blame your company. don’t lay the Burden on your Boss. Hindi ba, You made the choice? You opted to put more value on your career. Dahil sabi mo pinaghirapan mo lahat ito and pangarap mo na ito simula pagkabata dahil mahirap ka lang ikamu…gusto mong yumaman. You gambled and you lost.
I know of an executive na masyadong depressed… every week lang siyang umuwi sa pamilya niya. Week-ends lang niya nalalaro ang mga bata kung minsan required pa mag-stay ng sabado sa office, who finds no meaning in his life, he’s got the money, a beautiful wife who according to him might be hiding something from him (you know what I mean) and the kids are not genuinely closed to him, for no apparent reason he had pulled the trigger to his head. He’s got everything and he lost everything. that is the tragedy of it all.
As for me, I know better. After all the pains, the burdens of mistaken priorities, I have made my choice. Anytime, anywhere, my family comes first. My career, my business, my outside clients, all my other pursuits are only means to the end of all my sacrifices, my wife, my sons, my daughters, my family. I shall thus manage my various objectives well. there shall not be conflicting objective
anymore. For I now know clearly my prioroties and shall be faithful to them. I shall be willing to give them up; excess money, much comfort, travels, and girls for and in the name of the family. That is simple and straightforward.
PS. Are you aware that if we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don’t you think? And we often treat strangers and coworkers better than members
of our family.


by Litzie , on April 11 2008 @ 2:46 pm
I always tell my husband that we make sure we put family as top in our priorities. He sometimes think of working abroad for us pero I tell him, he will stay here, work for the government and earn enough for us with us or we apply to live abroad, the three of us. No option of working abroad earning tons but leaving us.
I totally agree with the writer Aggie. I love his values. Thanks for sharing this!
by Joy
, on April 11 2008
@ 3:07 pm
Thanks for sharing this Aggie. I agree 100% with everything he wrote.
by MommyBa
, on April 11 2008
@ 3:57 pm
I have come to terms with the fact that I have neglected my family in a lot of ways. I have to earn as I’m the breadwinner. It took a toll on my health, a dent in my relationship with my son (who is not close to me anymore like when I was still a SAHM), and a very so-so marriage with my husband.
I have come near the brink of reprimand because I need to attend to other matters more important than my work. But I really didn’t mind - simply because my family needed me more than my work.
I may not be the perfect wife or mother, but I’m doing my best to be. All in all, this post made me realize again that my family should always be my first priority no matter what the circumstances may be.
Thanks for sharing this!
by aggie.aviso , on April 11 2008 @ 4:12 pm
Hello Liezl,
You know what, I have to say na maybe we are on the same boat. I have had to endure Martha being away during weekdays because I really NEED to work. No choice eh. The money Edil is earning isnt enough to provide for the family yet and with two kids, we cant really live with it pa.
Do I feel guilty? Yes. A lot of times, there’s always a twinge of guilt everytime I think of all the things I could have done with my kids if I stayed at home. But then, I dont have a choice. I just pray that my kids will grow up understanding the actions we have decided as a family - like how I understood my Mom.
Mahirap talaga maging Mommy no? Have you seen the movie ‘Anak’ (Vilma Santos). There was a line there that made me cry talaga, parang sabi nung lead (Vilma), bakit pag ang tatay nagbibigay ng pera, napag-aaral ang mga anak, mabuti na syang ama. Pero pag ang ina, nagtratrabaho para sa mga anak, kulang pa din.
As long as our focus doesnt change, I dont think you are wrong. As you said, you know your family always will be first - and that is the reason you need to work.
Kudos to you

Kudos to working moms too
by caryl , on April 11 2008 @ 8:14 pm
very well said… thanks for sharing Aggie…
pa-snag ako ha…
by alpha
, on April 11 2008
@ 8:35 pm
thanks for sharing aggie.. i totally agree.. madami pa akong gustong gawin for myself, pero later na lang. even enrolling sa photog class hirap ako isingit though the husband gave me na the go signal.. di rin maluwag ang buhay namin when I resigned pero God provided, now medyo maluwag na kami.. so kaya nyo yan Aggie.. Go go go!!!
by andrea
, on April 11 2008
@ 9:46 pm
Hi Aggie! Thanks for sharing this. It certainly puts things into perspective. And makes me feel better for not having a lot of money. Hehe!
by Suzanne
, on April 11 2008
@ 10:55 pm
Ang galing! Thanks for sharing, Aggie.
I can just imagine your feeling to from Martha. Naku, one night lang nga na pinag-sleep over ko sa parents ko si Therese, halos madurog na ang puso ko.
Hay. Ang hirap maging ina nga talaga… Pero masaya.
by Career or Family | A Mothers Horizon , on April 14 2008 @ 12:12 pm
[...] I snagged this from Aggie. [...]