Subscribe2 Days to go and I can finally enjoy the season.
You know what’s nice? I have alloted some really loooooooooooong time before I go to sleep to write down what I feel, what I learned, what Im scared of, and from there, I dont know how to describe it, pero parang I end like up Im praying.
I missed being close.
I have been spiritually dry for the longest time. And no matter how hard I try to find Him, parang I cannot see Him. (Though I know He is always there) – parang wala lang, Im just dry.
But those little long moments I allot for myself and Him has done wonders to me.
Last night I was tearful when I wrote what happened to my Dad. See, his CPAP machine broke, and when you have COPD, you need to have that machine all that time. Worse, Martha was the one who broke the CPAP machine! My mom told me she cant go to Manila because my Dad passed out during Simbang Gabi because the whole day he was helping in the construction of the shrine 
.
And then I felt the need to really preserve this Christmas, you know. For all we know, we might never be complete like this. Abbie is leaving. My Dad’s health is not at its finest. We have plans. I might go out of the country. Edil might need to work on another country. We will never know.
And this is the first Christmas I will have with my parents in 2 years. I guess the reason why Ive been so giddy this season is I can finally focus on something else rather than who needs who, what gets done, which house to go to.
For all I care. If it were left all up to me, we will be holed up in the shrine until New Years.
on 
by Tinggay , on December 18 2007 @ 9:54 pm
aww…i don’t know exactly how you feel but nonetheless, I think you are very blessed to have your family – kids, husband and both parents to spend the holidays with. I hope your dad gets better, and that your plans work out
god bless!
by Litzie , on December 19 2007 @ 9:44 am
got teary eyed here. you never fail me… lagi mix emotions meron ako when i visit your blog… parang movie.
i just pray that everything turns out okay in your world friend.
ako? i’m scared of seeing my parents grow old. parang i just want this time to stop na ganyan sila, malakas and very able. just the thought of them being so old or losing one of them is so painful, parang inconsolabe yung feeling.
your time alone should be done more often. you deserve it aggie.
by joy
, on December 19 2007
@ 11:03 am
We have fears that can keep us awake all night. Which is why we should try harder to get closer to Him so He can make us feel better if not take the pain/fear away.
I hope your Dad gets better Aggie, I will pray for it. Just make tons of happy memories while you can.
by jane
, on December 19 2007
@ 2:29 pm
hope everything’s going to be alright with you and your family, aggie. pray that it will, and it will. don’t dwell na muna on sad thoughts.
merry christmas, advance
by toni , on December 19 2007 @ 4:25 pm
hi aggie! ako din i miss yung personal prayer time ko. usually parang mabilisang praying lang, thank you for the day etc tapos followed by my supplications (yun ang madami).
i hope your dad gets better. will pray for him and for you and your family too.
by Apols , on December 20 2007 @ 2:26 am
aww i know how youre feeling, i always have this fear also…just lift it ALL up to HIM…i hope your Dad will still have many years to see his grand children…i think Martha and Matthew energizes him =)