I have saved this show from Oprah in my drafts folder for quite some time. I have been meaning to write an entry about it ever since but really havent gotten to writing any of it up until now.

My cousin and I were exchanging e-mails at work the other day. Her son recently celebrated his first birthday at the Activity Fun center at Tiendesitas and we were comparing notes how the party was a smashing success. Out of the blue, she asked me:

“just a thought… do you ever regret having to work and having less time with your kids??
if you had a choice would you want to be a full time mom?

I didn’t batt an eyelash and replied:

of course! i think about it all the time, lalo na nung nagbakasyon si caren last week and I was forced to take a leave from office. as in mas maganda disposition ng mga bata, lalo na si mato (grouch kasi un sa umaga). mas cheerful sya pag papasok tapos paghatid sundo ko, iba smile nya ganun. si martha mas receptive sa learning, pero buti na din iba personality nya marami sya nagiging friends at masarap alagaan so ung mga tita ko sa compound love na love sya natuturuan pa.

next year when we move to amadeo im going to stop working and work from my blog earnings. simple life lang talaga nga lang. bahala na si batman

Who would not want to focus on their kids and stay at home diba? I know, iba pa din pag mommies ang nag-alaga and nakatutok with the kids. However, I feel that working moms go through the same pressure and hassle. They strive to make a living to augment whatever income their husbands have. They work and strive to make a place in their career, and yet when they come home, they are expected to be everything for the kids as well. I have experienced it firsthand. I bring home the bacon, and yet I still teach my son when he goes home, take the kids to bed, take care of their hygiene, etc. It is hard.

But sometimes, we have no choice. We live in a dog eat dog world and if by chance the husband’s income isn’t enough, the wife needs to support the family as well. I have to admit though that the few days I was at home being everything for the house - nawindang ako. I was literally in charge of everything since we had no househelp. (And then I get to see what SAHMs in the US really do, and get to have an understanding why most moms there expect to have a break and be free from their kids once they reach 18). With us here, it is different. Yayas can be affordable, and while the quality of them is still scarce, we can get househelp. It’s that simple.

Do I regret not being able to be there for my kids because I work? Yes, in a way. I think all working moms will have that guilt. Do I think my kids are suffering because of it? No. Because as I’ve said, it is all about balance. I can be there all the time but shout at them or keep them distracted so I can go about my own business. If given a chance, will I give up everything to be at home?

That is hard. I have built my career in five years and I feel I have so much promise. I also feel being at work is my free time away from home. But yes, if given the chance, if my kids are secure, I will.

But not everybody has that choice. And my heart and admiration goes out to the working moms who still can take care and nourish their children well. And I salute all SAHMs for making the choice to be there for their kids, and making mommyhood their career - it is hard. You can lose your identity, sacrifice personal happiness and achievement, but such is the greatness of a mother’s love

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