It is official.

I have gone for 48 hours without pumping. Martha is now weaned from breastmilk.

It came easy as a decision – stress was killing my output, Martha was grabbing my pump all the time and wanted my attention, and I felt it was time for me to stop – all the cons were outweighing the pros.

So I decided to try to wean last weekend. Martha did not drink any milk for 10 hrs. straight – I panicked! So I pumped and pumped. Last Tuesday was hard for me. There were yaya problems in the house (well, it has never ended naman kasi) and Martha was walking all around the house. I had to work. So you know the story.

I did not make it to my goal of one year. Im a BIT guilty. But I know I deserve a pat on the back (and more) for sticking it out this far. Many of you know how much I went through this journey. It would have been easier for me if I was staying home, or if Martha still fed directly from me, to be able to keep up my supply and not physically drain me while working.

I will miss the breastfeeding experience – the bond I got from seeing Martha at my breast, seeing Martha blossom into a healthy baby all because of MY milk, but I wont miss my pump – all raggedy and dirty and very very much used – I will retire it forever. Why? Because I will upgrade to a Medela when I get to have a child again. Will I breastfeed again? Definitely.

I still recommend breastfeeding for all mommies and babies. But do not be too hard on yourself if you cannot. If you need to mix feed, do so. If you need to pump exclusively, do so. The keyword here is: TRY. Do not deny yourself the experience. If it doesnt work out, fine. Move on. But the benefits are very very rewarding.

I’ve learned time management, perserverance, diligence, sacrifice all because of this. The first few weeks were crying sessions – bruised nipples, engorged breasts. But man, the experience is an experience itself.

And I feel a layout coming The only regret I have was I never took a picture of Martha feeding from me. Drats.

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