With that being said, I will strive to always choose to be happy and always look on the bright side of things. I have always been optimistic by choice, but there are times when I need to feel depressed and sad then bounce back, kwim? Anyhow, Im being vague and all that so I’ll just go straight to the point
Matthew’s First Day of Classes.
It actually went well. I was the one who accompanied him to school and since they are only going to have an orientation for an hour, I decided to stay and have a look around and feel the environment when there are actual kids on it. Being an all-boys school, even on the first day of classes, everyone was rowdy and sweaty…but not unruly. I love the fact that the cafeteria doesnt sell junk food NOR softdrinks, and that the classroom is really child friendly. His teacher is very motherly, and Matthew said after that his favorite school is now —-. I cant believe next year he is going to be in first grade!!

Just a thought though, I have never been the type of parent who is always active in his/her kid’s school like - meaning volunteering to be this and that, etc. Like my Mom, I make it a point to go to this meeting, attend a PTA, show up in programs, but you will never find me there everyday or be close to my kid’s teacher. No offense, I WOULD love to, pero siguro hindi lang talaga ko yun ma-chika eh. Plus the fact, Im quite young compared to the parents of Matthew’s schoolmates. Howell, what is important is that Matthew knows we are always ready to be there and support him. Wala naman akong problema ke Mato sa school eh, his study habits are good, his behavior is generally well-mannered (ewan ko lang once napasabak sa friends yan), and he loves studying. Mana sa akin yan
Reflecting on my own school life before, I admit I have always been an underachiever — modesty aside, I have never studied so seriously in my entire life — except once. I have always slept more than studied, totoo yan. Nachallenge lang ako super nung 4th yr high school ako, I was on leave for a month because of some pageant and I was so behind in Physics, Math talaga ang water loo ko eh. So un, super baba ung nakuha ko sa Physics making me drop out of the honor roll — e I have always been on one since 1st grade! Tapos kung kelan ako gragraduate, dun ako mawawala (we need to be consistent honor students to qualify for the yearly thing). Ay grabe, iyak ako ng iyak! LOL. Sa sobrang inis ko, I studied talaga, ayun, nung second trimester, everybody’s grades went down except mine. Kaso lang what’s done is done eh. I graduated without honors, just some leadership award I seriously think the admin gave me as consuelo - I was number 2 technically in our whole batch. Pati pagiging leader, underachiever ako eh, LOL. I guess I was never the type who wants to be pressured. Looking back, and I say this with all honesty and kayabangan, I have always strived to be ordinary and normal. Which proved me wrong. Ayoko mapansin nuon. Pag nilalabas na ung grades namin, itatago ko agad, kasi ayoko makita nila grades ko. Ewan ko, siguro I was burnt with all the inggit you can get from being special and popular. Plus having real friends is so hard. So I strive to be ordinary. I was tall, so I was kuba. I rarely smiled and if somebody whines how hard a subject is, I whine as well, kahit na I find it easy, LOL. Ang pathetic ko no? Mali pala yun. In college, I had the relaxed attitude. Super. I cut classes and always maximize my absences. And Id always miss being on the dean’s list by 0.0001111. LOL. Naging dean’s lister lang ako nung nagkaanak ako eh, kasi dun ko narealize na sayang ung mga missed oppurtunities ko to shine — kasi I had it in me naman. Yun, nung naging serious naman ako, nandyan na ang anak, ang work. Nung nag nursing ako, medyo nag-aral na ako, LOL. Pero grabe ang hirap kasi. I was working at night, going straight to classes in the morning and then going home straight to a toddler (Separated pa kami ni Edil nuon). Gustuhin ko man magpakahenyo, ang hirap na, LOL. What’s the point about all this? Wala. Gusto ko lang magreflect sa buhay ko, hahahaha. Honestly, for once in my life, I want to seriously commit to something and achieve my goal. Kasi nung HS ako, sabi ko magiging top one ako sa class ko, never nangyari un, once lang, last trimester pa ng 2nd yr HS. Tapos nung Med Tech ako, sabi ko magiging Dean’s List ako. I wanted to have that medal to give to my parents after everything that happened (najontis nga kasi ako diba), wala din — ang average ko 1.79. Boosit. See? I have always underachieved. I have never been serious in achieving, and this I dont want my kids to be. My son, I can already see his talent and intelligence. He has this sensitivity and perspective on things privy to kids his age involved only with playing. And I want to nourish that gift.

Martha’s Smile.
She really smiled last night..at me! July 14, 2006 around 10pm. OMG! Ang ganda ng anak ko pag ngumingiti (hello blog ko to, anak ko yun, pwede ko maging mayabang! LOL), kamukha ko na! HAHAHAHAHA! (Kamukha talaga ni Edil). Pero heller, ang maldita, kulot, hahahaha. Sana maging Goldilocks curls, kasi ngayun parang kinky eh Trivia: Kulot ako nung bata as in Goldilocks kulot. Kinalbo ako nung Lola ko nun mga 2 yrs old ako, ayan naging straight Thanks Lola!!!

At one month:
She is still exclusively breastfed. She already has filled the onesies for 3 month old kids — big girl!! She is really a daddy’s girl, she first recognized Edil’s voice (meaning really repsonding like turning her head etc). She actually lifts her back pag andyan tatay nya, meaning gusto nya magpakarga Me? Naku milking cow lang naman, LOL. I asked for supplemental feedings for Martha and her pedia recommended S26 Gold or Similac. Que horror! Ang mahal na pala ng formula ngayun no?? Almost 700pesos. Pwede na isang week’s worth of food for the three of us!! So ayun, bumili na lang ako ng Natalac malunggay tablets, LOL. I have around 40bags of milk in 4oz as stocks in the freezer so my emergency stash na ako. Ang problema, since graveyard shift na ako when I return to work, baka bumaba milk supply ko. And I will never survive my shift without coffee. Hello, yan ang lifeline ko. Ah basta, bahala na si batman. Sayang din kasi ung milk supply ko. Many mothers have struggled with BFing whereas with me I did not have THAT much of a hard time. One thing — it pays to be well-read and informed. I researched talaga how to breastfeed properly and how to pump and establish plenty of milk supply. As in pag andito ako sa house, every three hrs even if Martha is feeding from me, I pump. The more milk you get out of your body, the body will recognize the increased demand and will produce more supply. Nakakalabas din ako, actually, Ive been our more than Edil LOL. I have some events to attend to so ayun. lagi kong dala si breastpump, LOL. I have managed, and believe me, it’s not a burden. Maganda ring bonding moment namin un ni Martha eh. Her pedia says that BFing will make her closer to me, we need to establish a strong emotional bond since we are both girls (Kasi diba mas closer and children to the parents of their opposite sex?)

One Year.
One year na kami next week - 24th. And wala kaming maplano kasi wala pa din kaming katulong! Waaaah! At pera!!! Double waaah! HAHAHAHAHA!! Di bale, mas OK na maranasan namin ang ganitong hirap para malaman namin ang kasabihang “through thick and thin”..hehehe..this past year e puro thin eh Pero wag ka, OK pa din kami Im thinking of doing something special for him I just hope to have time for it. Sana sana sana

….
7AM na. Need to clean the house, fix breakfast and do a couple of things. Today is going to be a busy day. Why? You will find out tomorrow

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