Woot!

This is what I come up with alone time - no husband to compete with with computer time and no son to continuously distract me. I have to be honest though, I miss them already.

This is one layout which is very very special to me. Not only is this my 50th LO, this, I think, for me, has the most heart, out of all the journalling I made. Love how this turned out

Journalling:
Time and time again, I have always complained how long this pregnancy is taking and here I am, taking back my words. Only about four to six weeks and I am going to finally see my little girl! It seems I’m having my first child again, I’m filled with excitement, fear, anxiety, anticipation. I am anxious to see you, my little one, anxious to see the face I have been blessed to see in my dreams, curious to find out who do you exactly look like, excited to count your little toes and fingers and smell and kiss your neck. I can’t believe I’m going to have another baby again! During the first few months I was with you, I always have this fear of not being to replicate the love I have for your big brother. It seems to me that you can only love someone that much only once — but, I have proven that my love for you, your big brother, and your Dad doesn’t have to be divided — for in every addition, every gift I have been given, my love to be given has only multiplied. It is bursting to be given and shared, and I can’t wait to let you feel that - I’m sure you feel it already, as you are inside me, hearing my heart beat, feeling my love, all of my pain and joy. I live in fear that when you grow up, you and I would have the same love-hate relationship as I had with my Mom. The main reason I have wanted sons was because I do not want to experience the pain I have given my Mother. But no, now, I live in anticipation on how I will rear you, and tame you, and yet let you be yourself. I know I will somehow rein you in, as I would not want you to go through the pain I have gone through, but I pray that God grant me the wisdom to know when to hold on and let go. I’m only counting down weeks to see you and welcome you to this world — I cannot wait to hold you. Someday, when you read this, remember what emotions Mommy has felt to have you, and then maybe, when things get rough, you will understand the things I need to do. I love, my little one. Always, Mommy (26 march 2006)

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Doing that LO made me emotional, LOL. Taking a break now, will be back with lighter stuff. I have many silly faces of Matthew I need to scrap, or perhaps, one proud Mommy moment during his graduation. Maybe. My back has been killing me lately and I have been having this painless cramps often. Im just sticking it out until 36 weeks so Little one is safe to come out…speaking of which, WE STILL DO NOT HAVE A NAME!!!!

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