I've been writing an entry entitled Marina.
And a sequel to something just a few have access to.
If only I can find the time.
And my muse.

Choc-nut and Oishi Ridges.
Bonding time with long-time friend, Derek.
Calls every 30 minutes.
Paid time.

This is the life.
and I hope to finally close one credit card by the end of August.

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Post-Wedding Updates:

Close to a month after the day, I’ve:

1. Viewed the 2488 pictures Mimi and Karl took at our wedding at least 10 times over. Sa awa ng Diyos, ang hirap pa din pumili! I’ve drafted an initial list and submitted it to Mimi and left it all in her hands. Hehehe.

2. Finished watching the 5 DVDs (raw videos) by Threelogy. Ang ganda pala talaga nung Church and nung gown ko, heehee. AT! Wala ako masabi sa make-up, maganda ako dun eh. Mataba, pero maganda pa din (Blag ko to, walang aangal!). Yun iyakan blues, pag nakikita ko, natatawa akong kinikilig na nandidiri, ganun talaga. Buti na lang walang mascara streaks At tulo uhog Nakakatuwa kasi may pangbalik na kami sa mga nanunukso na iyakin kami, kasi may pruweba na kami na iyakin din sila – umiyak sila sa video eh!

3. Finally adjusted to having no maid in the house. Laundry on Wednesdays and Saturdays, cook dinner, watch GMA telenovelas (hooked ako sa Encantadia at Sugo, pramis), do assignment with Mato, let Matthew sleep, play Boggle or something else with Edil *wink wink*, sleep at 2AM, wake up at 4.30AM, sometimes 5.

4. Finally have a concept for our thank you cards (yes, I have not started on them yet!). Ive decided to order generic cards with stickers and sticker labels so I can use them pa din with something else. Plus Im going to use the “A” label, para pwede personal use

The reason why I have taken this long to think about it was I was too busy sorting through pictures Im going to send out together with the cards. Bigyan ko na lang sila ng picture na kasama sila sa pic. E syempre, edit mo pa yun chuva. It will be MORE costly, oo, pero it would not even compare to the gratitude we have felt for them. Lalong lalo na sa relatives ko.

Sa madaling salita, pupunta na naman ako kay Phoebe nito! Hehehe. Nag-usap kami kahapon eh, super busy. Im glad

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Naiinis ako at mauubos na ang sahod ko, wala pa din akong makitang Wedding Essentials Magazine. Papapirmahin ko dun ang mga w@wies at Suppliers ko na na-feature eh.

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Namimiss ko mag plano ng events. Parang gustong maghanda ng big party para kay Matthew kaso hindi pa naman sya 7 years old, baka ma-upstage pa yung time na mag 7 years old sya. Plus, wala naman kaming pera Gusto ko din ikasal uli ang Mommy at Daddy next year. 30 years na sila. And with the rate my Dad is going, malabo na umabot sila ng 50 or even 40 years of being together na buhay sila dalawa pareho =(.

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I’m so itching to make a new layout for this blog. Pero my magician has his PC broken. So, gawa na lang muna ako ng user icons sa LJ ko. Bisita kayo ha!

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Wala pa pala akong Wedding Kwento. Hmmm….try ko. Malapit na kami mag ONE MONTH!

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Because people at work who I dont want to make chismis might be able to chance upon my LJ. PeopleSupport is Blog-o-Landia, especially with our account, the account of looooong wait times. You start here, and in two weeks' time, I bet, you will have a blog, be it here, in blogger, blogdrive or tabulas, the last one having the most users. And since I'm quite a veteran here already (read: old), and masungit (read: I'm not going to make idle conversation, nuthead, I'd rather surf, and blog, and blog hop, thank you very much), people will naturally be curious on what I do write.

Whew. That was a long segue.

Onto the real point of this entry.

Edil has started hitting the gym again (He's gunning down for this body.), and though I should be feeling happy and dandy about it, I'm not. Not in a real sense anyway. For one, he is pressuring me to hit the gym and not eat as well, which, actually stems more from concern than anything else. But hard-headed me won't take any orders, especially coming from him (kuno).

Ewan ko ba, I can be in control and disciplined on anything but eating. I've longed acknowledged that I'm an emotional eater. When I'm bored, I eat. Sad? Eat. Happy? Celebrate it by eating. Example, the day I lost 30 pounds when Edil and I were separated, I ate a Cheesecake factory, eating a slice each of 4 different kinds of cake.

Yesterday, while I was at KFC eating with an officemate, she told me things I'm not privy of which has been happening with people I consider friends in the office. One has sexual problems (she thinks she is frigid, she just can't lubricate during sex), and one found out her husband was cheating on her. Sure, things like this happen all the time, but I get shocked and saddened all the same.

Friend T, already has three children, spaced 1 year apart. She dresses like she is dressed for lounging around the house doing chores, and we would even have to sometimes remind her to brush her hair. She usually borrows money which she will pay on pay day and then the cycle repeats itself. She sometimes eats boiled egg alone. But, talking to her, you sense a keen knowledge and wisdom and a beautiful soul. She even looks good, except that, right now, para lang syang “

Cheating husband is no looker, has a job which is so-so. He takes Friend T to concerts, bars, and the like. But he sometimes doesn't go home. He even notices Friend T's hair and suggests she get a treatment. Four days after Friend T gives birth, he checks in a sleazy motel with a sleazy girl.

Does marriage really suck you dry? Leaving you with just a ghost of yourself?

I still think (and believe) women give more in terms of love and sacrifice in a marriage. Which actually makes me scared a bit. Close to a month in the marriage, I have not been able to indulge myself of two hours (just two hours) of non-stop dancing alone in my room and being able to doodle stuff in my notebook. I have no ME time.

Then, Edil becomes a nag pressuring me to go to the gym and be a health buff.
Which, honestly, I don't have time for. I work 6AM to 3PM, go home,either do laundry then cook dinner, or cook dinner then iron clothes. Then it's teaching time for Matthew, and sleep. My luxury time is when I can finish two mugs of coffee without thinking of what I'm going to do next.

I'm not justifying my excuses. I know if I make time, I will have the time.

During Discovery Weekend, Edil just made me promise two things: 1) That I learn how to handle money (finish my debts), and 2) That I take care of myself. Presently, three-fourths of my salary goes to credit card debt so I can have them closed by December. The take-care-of-yourself part? I need to work on that.

I know looking good might be superficial, but, looking good takes effort. And discipline. Not all vanity. So, I better conquer this frigging little big thing and be fit.

If only I can resist that chocolate cake.

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Matthew comes up from behind, arms outstretched.

“Mommy, I love you.” He then puckers his lips and tips his toes for a kiss.

We cuddle and he repeats, “Mommy, I love you.”

And suddenly, I'm scared that he will grow up too soon and there will be no “Mommy, I love you” lines to hear.

“Malambing si Mato, no?” I tell Edil. “Sana di muna sya magbinata.”

“He will always be your boy, he's the first.”

And Im comforted.

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06.24.05

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..and yet what am I doing?

I think I have what I think is perpetual restlessness. After working and studying at the same time, then graduating, then reviewing for the board exams, then preparing for the wedding, I'm again on a roll.

I've been busy the past few days searching for training seminars on anything about nursing. I have conquered my fear of the unknown (and the known – which is the low pay) and finally got moving on my application. Hopefully, by September, I'm going to be fully-pledged practicing nurse already.

In other news, I have been busy re-organizing my files and learning new stuff, like Adobe Photoshop and Digi-Scrapping. I've been reading books like I've never read books before and have been sleeping for two-three hours a day. Niiiiice.

Edil and I have some bonding sessions after Matthew goes to sleep..Boggle Supreme! We have been tagged as the “Legend” so far.

Life these past few days have been all about thinking, planning, organizing and thinking. I've always thought I've never thoroughly enjoyed the stages of my life and seem to always to be in a hurry to get it over with and move over to the next chapter, the next stage to “star” in- and within this month and the next, Im going to be preparing for the next stage Im going to be in.

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Mag Tagalog naman tyo!

Nagbukas na ang SM City San Lazaro kanina. And it is bigger and better than SM Manila, I'm impressed. At, sa limited time na nandun ako (nalibot ko lang kalahati ng first floor at kelangan ko na pumasok), meron Gonuts Donuts at Super Bowl! Yay! Coffee Shop na lang at kumpleto na ang fixes ko. Walking distance pa lahat. Hmmmmm..mukhang matututong maglayas ang anak ko na.

Masama kaming mga magulang. Di lalampas sa isang linggo na di makakapasok si Matthew sa school. Hindi kasi kami nagigising or hindi ko naseset ang alarm clock bago ako umalis sa trabaho kaya di naman nagigising si Edil. Buti na lang mana sa akin ang anak ko, genius (asos..haha!)

Eto na muna, mukhang nalalaman na ng mga taong ayaw kong malaman na meron akong ganitong kabaliwan ang LJ ko Locked entries naman.

Ikaw? Gusto mo magbasa? Mag-LJ ka

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Gusto ko gawin 'to.
(P.S: Sa mga wowies na mapapadaan, paki-iwan ang URL nyo at ililink ko din kayo ha!)

1. Reply with your name and I will write something I like about you.
2. I will then tell what song/movie/icon/etc reminds me of you.
3. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be…
4. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
5. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. Put this in your journal.

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Because we really didn't have any. No biggie as I would want to go to Disneyland HK for Matthew's birthday in December and finally go to a beach if ever, when ever, I get the babelicious body I've been dreaming of (Ha, I wish!:P)

For one, we were entertaining a very good friend who flew all the way from Davao to witness the whole event. So we had to play good hosts, even on our wedding night. Hindi naman sya sumingit sa kama though

Day 1: After cleaning up the room we will be staying in, (we are now staying in my parents' room, we kicked them out! nah, they both live and stay most of the week in Cavite anyway) we met up with Rex and Kuya at Eastwood. Now if you remember, this was when there were very strong rains that naturally, had the whole of Dimasalang submerged in floods within 10 minutes. Buti na lang sa likod kami ng SM City San Lazaro at hindi bumaha sa amin Anyway, we had to take several re-routes to go to Eastwood and since I was busy talking with Marvin, another friend who from Taguig, travelled all the way to Dimasalang only to find out we were going to Eastwood(yep, salisi kami), and Edil didn't know how to go Eastwood (yep, he doesn't!), we got lost and found our way at Sta.Ana! (where ever that is!) Buti na lang at “honeymoon” pa kami nun at medyo maga pa mata namin hindi ko sya inaway muna (agad – hehehe )

Medyo sweet pa kami sa sasakyan nyan
Disappointed that Jack's Loft was extremly full, we settled in Teriyaki Boy instead. Nakakainis lang kasi we went all the way to Eastwood to eat..Teriyaki Boy!!! Yebah!!! It was nice naman pero sana nag Morato na lang pala kami. They got drunk of course. I just ate and drank arctic melon vodka (for life).

The Tutarpits (Dont ask what means ): Marvin, Kuya, Edil and Rex.

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(1) Medyo bangag na. Havent slept in days and havent drunk anything alcoholic in months. (2) Blushing newlywed pa yan (Akala mo virgin nung kinasal, hahahaha!)

Day 2: We shopped for things we need in the room. And of course, the bedsheets need to be very appealing! I also realized that it was hard to shop with Edil! With me, I shop for what I like and nevermind the price, he, on the other hand, shops by the price! (Sana makuha ko ang ugali nya sa pera – waldas ako eh!)

Day 3: We took Matthew out. Typical SM Mall day. My son wanted pizza and pizza he got. He is the only 4 year old I know who likes Yellow Cab more than Shakey's nor Pizza Hut (dapat lang) and can finish 4-5 slices in one sitting. Now, if only he eats as much with other foods…

Day 4: Finally got our CDs from the wedding!

Edil treated me out to Friday's with Matthew in tow since we spent most of the morning and afternoon tidying up the room (ang dami naming gamit!! waaaaah!). With me doing most of the work

Now, let the pictures do most of the talking

Nakakatuwa lang kasi when Karl and Mimi arrived, Matthew's first greeting was “Pipicture tyo!” HAHAHA! When they answered they didnt bring a camera, he got ours! At wag ka, kinuhanan nga nya kami! He even instructed us how to pose! The little brat

(1) Me and Edil. (2) Mimi and Karl – Matthew was the one who took this picture

Day 5: Another go-to-the-mall-and-buy-stuff day. By this day, we were so tired na. Kumain na lang kami (ulit.)

So the week after the honeymoon, was, I therefore conclude (mwehehee), all about three things: 1) shopping, 2) cleaning the room, and 3) eating!.

Surprisingly though, I havent gone through the stage of not-being-used-to-having-a-wedding-ring all the time. I go to the bathroom with it, wash dishes, clean, do everything with it on my finger. It helps that I am a leftie and the ring is on the right so when I do “delicate” stuff, germs are not there . Edil claims it's the same with him. It's good Edil insisted we dont have any stones in it too, as I have gone to realize the tenacity of our bands. Hopefully, it would not be lost or stolen soon (sana naman, at ako ay laging malas).

I'm not saying our married life has been great. If you can compare it with others, it's so-so. We have had our first quarrel already. We don't make love every night . And sometimes, I crave some alone time. But, iba lang talaga ang feeling. When I finally get down to describing it, I will tell you .

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