For once in my life, I want to be all-out passionate about one thing. I want to focus on that one thing and finally give it all out, holding back nothing. I want to give the 100% I was always willing to give but always just giving 99.5%.

I have always been an underachiever. I have always been told I am more, that I can be more, give more, reach more. I never really believed all of it. Perhaps I was scared of them seeing the real me and they would end being disappointed, that even if I give it my best shot, I still would come short.

So I do it deliberately, always giving way, always falling behind, ranking second, winning without really much effort.

For once in my life, I dont want to be half-baked.

I dont want to say, at the end of my years, I have tried out everything yet I have not been good with anything.

For once in my life, I want to win and achieve some thing I have truly, honest to goodness, worked hard for. Not some last-minute cramming, result of procastination and 50% ideas and creative effort.

For once in my life, I want to find out what I want to be passionate in. Scratch that. I have always been passionate about two things.

For once in my life, I dont want to come out half-baked.

I want to roast, I want to be under fire, I want to be everything I have always been in my dreams, in the eyes of people who have always seen what I always deny to have been.

For once in my life, I want the real me to shine. Without fear of coming up short, or failing, or disappointing, or envy.

I dont want to be half-baked.

And it took me this long to finally admit it.

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