SubscribeOn Friendster and Ex-es
Posted on Apr 14, 2005 under Daily Memorables |This was inspired by Clarice’s post.
Me and Edil have been together for close to 10 years, since 1996. But we have broken up and gotten back together for more than you can count, the longest break up was in 2003, when I thought (well, since I was hella proud, I wanted to as well) that we would never got back together.
I guess love has always been there and we were really meant to be (story of us to follow if ever I have the guts to ever tell it here..hehe) that one fateful day of January last year he came back and the rest, they say is history. We were older, wiser, more mature and loved each other on a different level. The night we got back together, we both voiced the thought out loud: “Pakasal na tyo.” This is it.
But then, the past will always be a venue for hurt and ghosts to surface. When we separated, it was the first time in 7 years that I decided to have fun (meaning “magdalaga” — I’ve been with him since I was 15), and for him, out of bitterness, of all our issues, decided that he have fun as well. I fell in love with another guy on a different level and he had plenty of girls..as he ventured in modelling and pretty girls were aplenty - it was very easy to forget about me.
We decided to have the skeletons out of the closet talk after a week of being together and hearing all of them made me sick. I knew it would happen but hearing it straight from his mouth was something else. It hurt..a lot. Up to now, when I think about it, I still get misty-eyed. What more when I see their profiles in Friendster? Gawd, kung pwede lang maging biatch, sinabunutan ko na sila (or maybe post their pictures here kaya? hehehe).
With Edil, it was simple. He heard about 10 minutes of it and said, “Ayaw ko na. Ayaw ko nang malaman. Dont tell me anything.” He almost called our civil wedding date off because he thought I was still keeping in touch with him, pero hindi naman.
My whole point? I still get jealous, I still get hurt, I still get upset on little things such as “Why havent you still not posted our wedding announcement in Friendster?” issue (which he now rarely visits). But when he looks at you, you know, deep down, those are ghosts are just…ghosts..haunting you.
And ghosts are harmless when you simply make them harmless too.
I would like to believe ghosts exist simply because you believe in them.
So for now, for me, they do not exist.
(I decided to make this entry to simply let go of issues. Edil might read this, his flings might read this, but I don’t care, mamatay sila sa inggit. He is mine. He always was :P)
by Leslie , on April 14 2005 @ 10:24 am
Gosh, Aggie! I can totally relate to your story. Jayson and I have been in a relationship for 8 years on and off, having flings in between the break-ups. I admitted that I fell in love with a different guy and maybe he did to with another girl (he just had no guts to admit it)…and that started the war. Forunately, we have learned to overcome it and leave it all behind us. We had to settle that issue before we got married. I made sure that his wounds healed and that he will no longer cause spite me with that one mistake. But you’re right, it’s like the undead…always haunting, lingering around. No matter what we do, it’s there.
kaya lang, pati ba naman Friendster? Kung pwede ko nga lang delete yun eh ginawa ko na. Bad man, gantihan na lang. Di naman namin napag awayan eh.
by anna , on April 14 2005 @ 10:31 am
yah! you go girl. hangang inggit lang sila. sa iyo na si edil. bi think he’s lucky kasi kayo magkakatuluyan eh. have to go…cut ko muna ito. hehehe! post na lang ulit later.
by mimi , on April 14 2005 @ 11:37 am
hey aggie!
if time can’t heal the wounds, Alzheimer’s will
dadating rin ang araw that you’d just laugh it off.
seriously though, time does help
by Aggie , on April 14 2005 @ 11:58 am
Leslie - Mahirap din talaga pag long-term relationships, you have to go through all the pain of personal growth…hay naku, Leslie, but ni lang they still ended up with us! BWAHAHAHA!
Anna - That is what Edil said, he is lucky kasi after all.. *kilig*
Mimi - Gagah! May lahi kami ng Alzheimer’s noh
Hahaha. I’m OK, I can laugh it off minsan, pero tsong, pag PMS, saksakan ng katarayan lola mo :))
by john & joy , on April 14 2005 @ 2:24 pm
Hi Aggie! Past is past…sabi nga ng marriage counselor sa Sta. Rita, whatever hurts you had in the past, forget about them and look forward to your future. Korek ka sis! Mamatay sila sa inggit! Edil is yours 4ever…may Matthew pa kayo! They can’t take them away from you, girl!
by Aggie , on April 15 2005 @ 11:02 am
Joy, thanks for backing me up!
by Leah , on April 15 2005 @ 11:15 pm
although, joseph and i haven’t been together that long, we also went through the same problem. grabe! it was like a nightmare! i’m glad we’re over that. such a big relief. past is defintely past!
by the laurel leaf , on April 18 2005 @ 12:15 am
hi aggie, i thought i was the only one feeling this way.
though benc and i have been together 3 years and have been super faithful, his past haunts me…the girls he used to date, his girlfriend of 5 years. though he reassures me they mean nothing now i find myself googling or searching for them on friendster. i don’t know to what end, but, i find myself doing it. it’s stupid, and you’re right: the ghosts appear if you believe they will. but sometimes the specters are difficult to dispel. *sigh* if you find a way to banish them, will you tell me how? i’ll share my discovery with you if i find anything. 
agreed?
by Aggie , on April 18 2005 @ 11:16 am
Hi Data!
When and If I come up with a way to simply forget, I will surely let you know
by Musings of a Learning Wife and Mother » Happy Monday c”,) , on June 18 2007 @ 9:46 pm
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