We finally have managed to convince my Dad to go to the hospital. Aside from emphysema and COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder), he is a confirmed diabetic who needs insulin shots every 4 hours, and is developing right side heart failure – simply put, water has been creeping into the space of his heart wall and it IS bad. His blood isn't red, it is chocolate brown due to lack of oxygen.

Reading what you have read, you may have imagined a man who is almost bed ridden and frail and close to dying. Yes, he is close to dying. I have been psyching myself for that ever since he decided he would rather die soon than give up smoking. Looking at him now, he is still what he is – strong and stubborn. I visited him once and remarked that he had an IV hooked up (before, he wasnt give any), and he replied; “Nilagyan nyan ako para di ako makaalis.” Yep, he goes out (of the hospital room) to smoke still. Thanks to IV drip line, he is bound to his room (I know this is against hospital policy but since his sister holds office, he can arrogantly stubborn, much to our dismay.) I remarked that he was back to his ruddy brown color after 24 hrs of continuous oxygen inhalation and he retorted, “Kung ganito lang ako habang buhay, gusto ko pang mamatay!”. Im the only one in the family who can answer back bravely with respect so I countered, “Isnt it what you are doing now?”. He then proceeded to make me feel guilty, “Bibisita ka lang wala pa akong Ma Mon Luk” (his favorite), which was successful, because I really forgot. With my Mom hovering around him because of his condition, I was alone in meeting with suppliers. Edil just serves as George Banks and my driver. I met up with nurses who have been my previous classmates when I was in college (UST days) and they were convincing me to apply already. I might, after the wedding.

I have been made into a sounding board, with my Mom reporting everything doctors tell her and me interpreting for my Mom, albeit the interpretation is “mild-i-fied.” My dad's case is serious. And I was honest enough to tell my Mom we just need to wait which of his organs would give up first.

I want to be mad at him, you know. Mad because he cannot give up something for us, that he cannot see that his children need him and his family love him so much. Mad because he is dying to go. As if he is too tired already. He once told me he is ready. Two years ago. I jokingly said, not yet, since he promised he would walk me down the aisle (me and Edil were separated that time).

But I can't get angry, not for a bit. Because I love my Dad.

I'm now having severe paranoid thoughts of my Dad dying on my wedding day or close to it. Knowing him, he would insist I go through my wedding, hospitalized or not.

He told me he would me walk me down the aisle.
And now, all I want is for him to walk with me for a few more years.

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Next project: SAVE THE DATES

Since going to different suppliers didn’t actually yield too many good vibes (they can’t copy the one I want), we may resort to save the date cards for now since we would be meeting with (most of the) Principal Sponsors come Holy Week at the BNP.

I just need to replace the stripes with pink and brown and the dots with pink and the background with brown (or vice versa).
Going to Unifair was fun though. Shirley was nice and it is true. She let me take the samples home. We have narrowed the choices to two, but I’m still hoping I can have custom-made invites that I really really want.

I have the invite wording set, though.

If you want to see a close-up of the card, go here.

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FIRST: My links dont open up in a new window. I would appreciate it if somebody tell me how I can have open in a new one. Im a dork at these things. Hehehe. Edit: I fixed it already, thanks to

Planning for a wedding can be a bit overwhelming, honestly. I have so many ideas running through my head that I'm deathly afraid my wedding would turn out to be too over-done. Still, there is the problem with (lack of) money. We are trying to pay for the wedding ourselves (which really should be the case) but it's hard. My skills on budgeting are tested, which always have failed ever since!

In a nutshell, we are getting married in a small pretty church inside a village. A little gathering will commence right after at its Social Hall. A friend of my mom's, who does catering will be the caterer. She was nice enough to give us a hefty discount.

The theme!. After really really thinking about it, I decided to let pink stay. Heh. Pink has always been my color ever since. Since fuschia pink and orange and celadon green and pink have been the most used color themes of weddings last year, I vehemently refused to use that, though, before, I thought it was the only combination of pink I can have. Seeing this color combination over marthstewart.com, I decided to go for a pink and brown theme. Pink Roses and Chocolates. With Stripes, Dots and Plaids. My friends do not have a visual clur how it would look so I was more challenged to carry the plan through. So far, it is working. They now love the idea!

The invites, Im still sourcing suppliers who can give me this look. So far, it has not been easy. Wordings are going to special. I'm also thinking of a some lines that would be carried over from our invites, save the dates (i dont know how to photoshop, so Im looking for someone who can do this for me – just replace the stripes with all shades of pink and the dots with pink and browns…haaay buhay! ang hirap magplano!, missals, thank you cards and what-have-yous but my mind is still blank.

The dresses of the entourage would be tea-length dresses, save for my sisters who will be Maid of Honor and Bridesmaid, respectively. Check out the dresses for the Jr. Bridesmaids, Usheretters, and Secondary Sponsors. We have taken care to choose sponsors who have been with us (read: supportive) ever since, and we only came up with 6. Meaning the additional 2 or 3 are requests made by our parents. Since my friends who will be the Secondary Sponsors will be shouldering the dress expense, Im thinking of having my sister design this sexy clutch bag.

My head is brimming with full ideas.
More to come.

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I have decided to go DIY on invites. Now, if only I can find the right paper!
Invites courtesy of this..

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I met with Mimi (www.fotogra.ph) last Friday (02.18.2005) and the meeting went really well. I was immediately at ease with her and decided to do a booking after. Actually, I was decided on booking her before pa. We are scheduled to have our pre-nups at….a ZOO! Can you believe it? And a coffee shop. I’m all excited on the concept actually. Edil wants to have pictures on a graffiti wall with us on ala-grunge-y outfits, since we are relatively young and we don’t have slacks in both of our closets! Ako? I just want our pictures to turn our great! And with Mimi, I think I dont need to get much worried.

I JUST NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT! ARRRGH!!

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I turn 24.
The Man Up There has been very very good to me.
A friend told me earlier, “Wow Aggie, this seems to be your year!”
I hope it would be.

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Planning for weddings really makes me OC, not that Im OC enough to start with. So far, everything is going well, and many have been loving the theme and motif and everything else I want to be done on my day. What is overwhelming is the happiness and support that has been given me and Edil. One of my aunts who really doesn't want to get hitched (I think, not until Im old and dry) and whom I have been avoiding since I booked the church asked me if I had a wedding gown concept already and that I should hire a coordinator for my day. Everything is all pinky happy for me.

Also, finally going to a bridal fair had Edil excited for the wedding day as well. He was scrimping on money before he saw all the ideas at the fair so at least now, he is going to be like me – OC OC, hehehe.

Finally meeting up with friends are always nice. We decided on it the last minute and for the first time in months, I came home at 3AM tipsy. Hehehe. You kinda get what a boring life I lead already, don't you?
~ being complete after almost a year.
~ sending off Phoebe who is relocating to Cebu. Argh! Cebu!
~ eating at Jack's Loft and getting tipsy at OJ's. I love the seats! ~ pillows with open air on a sort-of balcony!

With Teena, Wiway and Phoebe

With Phoebe, who is going to have the time of her life in Cebu!

With Teena, my bestes friend

With Phoebe and Wiway

_________________________________
Im turning a year old 3 days from now. More to follow.

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if you read this journal,
even if i don't speak to you often,
post a memory of me.
it can be anything you want.
it can be good or bad,
just so long as it happened.

then post this on your journal.
see what people remember about you.

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