I haven't been out. I was just…out. Ha. Does that mean anything to you?

Now, since I dont want to babble on what seems to be the first real entry for the year,
1) I have been involved in planning a wedding. Not necessarily for MY wedding, but you can call it that. What was just depressing is that I AM PRESSURING MYSELF (and Edil) to finish it this year para tapos na. Sometimes I can be too hard on myself. I like myself organized I consider myself boring already. For example, why the hell would I want to get married this year when I can do it the next right? Simple. I have a timeframe: I go take the CGFNS (a foreign test for nurses) on July or November, quit my call girl duties by May or April (which would give me time to review AND get wed), and get married May or June (I'd personally prefer getting married on June 3 because that was when I got civilly married last year.) Why not later than that? Matthew is starting school this June and I would like him to be enrolled in a school near Edil's house (where we will be staying when we settle down). And getting married after June will mean enrolling him to a school near place and having more problems on where Edil will stay at OUR PLACE. FYI: Edil and I are not living together. Call our families freaks, but that is just how we are built. Of course, this is not all about organized, perfectionist ME. Im dying to live with Edil. 6 years of being together and 4 years of having a kid, go figure. The thing is: You've got to know OUR family. An intimate wedding means inviting 100+ guests, first degree relatives only. And that doesnt count the TRUE friends we have had since we were 15 and just making pa-cute with each other. HAAAAAAAY! Ang hirap ng walang pera sa mundo, ambot. Boosit. So next week, we are going to scout churches and nearby places to have the event that follows after the wedding.

You want to know my dream wedding?
It has less than a hundred people on it, somewhere out of town, with all my family crying out of happiness FOR ME AND EDIL.

And the deal is: My relatives are so high into getting me out of the country this year lest I get married. I dunno why the hell they think Id still change my mind when I go there and yes, I am amused by their “eagerness” to help my dreams come true. But hey, this is my life. And the only dream I have had for the past two years was to be finally wed and wear that fucking white gown I still havent visualized. Yes, people, I have it all figured out. The colors, the set up, the invites, the give-aways, but no gown for moi. Shiet.

2) Which brings us to my another gulo situation:
Since I have passed the board exams, I have been in limbo, meaning, aside from making papicture for my graduation picture, I have not done absolutely important to do something to get my ass off this call center industry. I am having thoughts about getting the Phil. Heart Center because they have a 2-year legally binding contract (hell, almost all hospitals have that now.) and I dont want to make pahiya my aunt who is going to refer me there once I make takas (hahaha, do you actually notice I'm being maarte?) Yak. Anyhow, my options are endless. Since I'm also a registered medical technologist (RMT), I can be petitioned by my aunt who lives in Cali and owns a lab to work there and from there, just take the NCLEX. OR I stay here, with my call girl duties, and review and study and attend seminars and training and be with edil. My school is offering me a teaching job, but I honestly think I would not be able to learn anything Ive learned, because I have not learned at all. Tangina.

In the meantime, for purposes of keeping up with “organized timeframe”, Im making asikaso the CGNFS application packet I have downloaded online (BTW, once I resign here, Im gonna miss the Internet. Seriously, I will be crippled. I pay bills here, use it as a directory and have joined as many egroups as I can to make me knowledgeable about weddings and applying overseas. I havent gone to any bridal fairs but I have dozens of portfolios of wedding packages of every supplier. Geesh. The government agencies are keeping up with the times, thank God. I can check premiums I have made thru the SSS and even request a birth certificate online…which brings me…)

3) I have been having the most enjoyable time of my life going to three government agencies lately: NSO, SSS and the beloved fucking PRC. Since Matthew needs to be legitimized and my marriage 8 months ago STILL has not shown up on the NATIONAL STATISTICS of the WHOLE PILIPINAS, I needed to go to the hellhole of what is called NSO. It robbed me a few pesos short of 500, pero OK na din. SSS was a breeze, as compared to the horror stories I have been hearing. PRC knocked me dead. Since I was practical enough to apply for a license as well request for a change of name (to reflect my married name), I was there for 7 hours, having every fucking document, notarized, metered and what have you. I spent 2,300 pesos just to have the letters RMT and RN appended to my name. They told me I was pretty though. It still cost me. Bulok talaga. And it's supposed to be the agency for professionals! Buti na lang civilized mga tao, or else. They dont even have AIRCON!!!!!!!! I was roasting like a pig.

4) Since Im confused and depressed and my mind is trying to process every single oppurtunity I can, I go DVD marathon on nights Matthew is sleeping. And eating chocolates and ice cream and not going to the gym.

So if ever I get married 40 lbs. still overweight, nobody is to be blamed but me.

Btw, it was the first year of being back with Edil yesterday. We celebrated it by talking on the phone for an hour since we have no chance of being together because of werk. Bummer. He is turning 26 this Saturday, and Im cooking up sumthing I have never done in the 10 years I have known and love him, which actually keeps me busy too. No, Im not going to strip. I already did that (yeah, right!). I also had him chained to a bedpost. Figure our if Im lying.

I missed posting.
15 minutes, and I realize Ive been just too neurotic.
Sorry for the long update

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